Coaching Group for Leaders

Top 10 Insights from a Mega-Pastor Group Coaching Seminar


In the spring of this year, I led a group of 16 Lead Pastors from Mega-Churches around the country through a two day “Group Coaching Seminar.” Roughly ½ the participants were the senior leaders of church with over 3,000 in weekend attendance (the largest one being over 12,000) and the other ½ were the senior leaders (usually younger) of churches with somewhere around 1,000. It was a profound experience. I asked each of them introduce themselves and then I drew out their primary challenges as they each seek to lead to the next level. We prioritized the list and then I coached them as they worked through the top challenges that they all had in common. It was an emotional and intense two days.

My various roles (Harpeth Community Church, Stadia, and Church Coaching Solutions) all lead me to focus on two primary things – training and coaching leaders (staff, elders, network leaders, coaches, and church planters). So, I am sure that I learned more than any one else in the room. This article is my attempt to pass on my top 10 insights, so that other leaders can learn with me. I am very humbled and grateful for my time with these men.

1. Commitment to Grace-Centered Theology is the Root of Ministry. Each leader present was leading with a personal commitment to Jesus Christ and his Grace. The commitment to scripture was central, coupled with a strong desire that the only barrier between the church and lost people is the clear core of Biblical teaching. In the nine other points that follow, this foundation is presumed.

2. Rigorous Self-Care is a Must. A second top learning is the senior leader, at this level, experiences far more stress and pressure than those around him can fully understand. Even those who are close to the senior leader, like the elders of the church, cannot fully understand. And it takes more of a physical, emotional, and social toll on the leader – and his family – than most fully appreciated beforehand. Everyone was urged to practice rigorous self-care and entrust God with the results. Friendship, Days off, personal retreats before vacations followed by full fledged family vacations, and sabbaticals are all musts.

3. Build a Team of Leaders of Leaders. There are no growth barriers, just leadership barriers. If the senior leader wants to have a big impact upon his community, he must develop a team of “leaders of leaders.” There are three ways in which people follow others:

• There are followers of followers (2 talent people)
• There are leaders of followers (3 talent people)
• There are leaders of leaders (5 talent people)

High impact leaders recruit and hire “leaders of leaders.” In so doing, they expand the reach of the church’s ministry, with every leadership addition, to at least three levels of other people.

4. The Relationship is Everything. “Relational environments” for leadership development must be the atmosphere the leader creates. Stated differently, the leader must create environments that effective empower leaders to love, disciple, and mentor new leaders. Christianity, at root, is about relationships – with God and each other. Leaders must embody the commitment to disciple the leaders around them through a relational environment permeated by Jesus-style love.

5. Create a “Next-Level Leadership Culture.” To get to each level of increased community impact, the leadership and leadership roles must change. When the mission is to impact an ever-increasing-number, then every leadership person must be willing to step aside if he will not be able to lead to the next level. The key leadership ability for the senior leader is the ability to say goodbye to people who are not able to go with you. If you cannot do this, you cannot lead at the next level.

• Establish this “next-level leadership” expectation as the DNA or church culture upfront before adding new leaders.
• Formally evaluate every leadership person regularly, fairly, and rigorously.
• Work hard to give a staff person every chance to get to the next level if they struggle.
• If a staff person cannot get to the next level, you must say “good-bye” by moving them aside (to a different position) or out - but earnestly pursue the relationship, well after they are gone, to express and maintain your love for that person.

When it comes to hiring staff, the principles are simple: “hire slow, fire fast - hire hard, manage easy.”

6. The Eldership Will Make or Break The Lead Pastor. Top leaders recruit only those who will truly make good elders in their congregations. What this means is that these men must have demonstrated the fruit of the DNA which the leader is seeking to develop within the congregation before they are even considered for the eldership. Elders are recruited in the following ways:

• Start by looking for biblical character, competence, and chemistry in a man – and his wife.
• Adopt a clear relational process.
• Adopt a well-done survey which intentionally surfaces issues and beliefs – and then formally interview.
• Invite those identified into a training process
• Provide books and teachings to process (key books for the church’s DNA)
• Make sure they know and understand the policy governance manual
• Invite those on track to a period of apprenticeship and testing

Then, when men serve as elders, adopt the following practices:

• The elders closely follow the written policy governance for their leadership.
• The elders speak with one voice – following the “mom and dad rule” – it is OK to disagree behind closed doors, but speak as one everywhere else.
• Elders meetings are confidential - nothing from the meeting is to be processed or discussed (without prior agreement), even with the wives of elders.
• Adopt a Sabbatical policy for elders – it gives them a time for a break and it allows the senior leader to get a bad elder off the bus, by not asking him to come back.
• Adopt a monthly meeting: meal together first, prayer time second, and business third.
• Many believe it is better on the lead pastor if he is not the chairman of the elders.

7. Intentionality is Key in Developing Leaders. We must teach, equip, and empower people so that they can get in the game of leadership. We must continually help people to observe, try-out, and debrief the nuts and bolts of leadership. At every occasion we explain why we do what we do and why it matters – then we coach emerging leaders to review and debrief at each leadership situation themselves. As a friend of mine always says, “That which is unintentional is un-reproducible.

8. Love and Serve the Community. Jesus loved and served people – and invited them to join his kingdom. Likewise, we must love and serve the community, while inviting people to join God’s kingdom. We do it because it is the nature of the Jesus’ Community. It also causes people to have good-will toward the church (Real Life Ministries in Post Falls, Idaho has many stories about how God has used their acts of service to the community to help draw many, many people to Christ).

9. Be Gracious in all things. Consistent with their emphasis on Grace, each of these leaders emphasized the importance of being gracious churches. The leaders of Adventure Christian Church (just outside Sacramento) note that new comers to Adventure always point to the giving out of free bibles and the lead pastor’s prayer for other churches each Sunday as the things that they best liked about Adventure. Another church leader in Ohio said that they started giving away CDs of the teachings, which enhanced a generous culture in the church, and it made people more effective at inviting other people to church.

10. The Result of Confidentiality with Transparency Between Leaders is Profound. To sit in the room listening was life changing. Several sat in stunned silence. It is clear that high level leaders need other high level leaders. They understand and help one another like no one else. The environment of support, openness, and insightful-sharing from one high level leader to another was rare, profound, and desperately desired.

May God bless these lessons in the minds of each of us as we seek to pursue his kingdom and the heart of Jesus for the world.

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Leaders Need Coaches

To Lead you must constantly be a learner. One of the best ways to learn is to get a mentor-coach who does what you want to do. Simple enough. Pray. Search. And find someone who is doing with God-honoring excellence, what you want to do.

Leaders have to find great mentor-coaches: 1) Mentor = someone who has gone ahead and pours back in (to you) and 2) Coach = someone who draws alongside and draws out the best that is in you. God must be at the center of the whole thing.

I lead a church. I lead in two para-church organizations. People trust me. They look to me to know where we are going. Newcomers in our church want to know if I am worthy of following. The leaders who serve with me are looking to me to see if I know how to lead them. I need to be close to God. And, as Proverbs indicates, I need the best mentor-coaches (advisors) I can get.

That’s why I have always sought out the best possible coaches - Jim Griffith (Griffith Coaching), Thom Rainer (now CEO of LifeWay), Bob Logan (CoachNet.org), and for the last 1.5 years, Jim Putman. Check out www.reallifeministries.org. Yes, they have gone from Zero to 8,000 in eight years – and they are all in small groups. Putman is the sharpest church leader that I know. He knows more about Jesus' style leadership than all the experts. What a gift to have him as my coach.

Recently my church has needed me to become an expert in incarnationl-missional stuff. The Forgotten Ways describes it. Church Planters need my best too – so, God has blessed me with Alan Hirsch as one of my new coaches. So far, he is sharp, in a cool, artsy way. He will help me be a better leader.

Leaders Need Coaches.

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